14 Things You Should Have Learned In Sex Ed But Didn’t
There are many interesting things you should have learned in sex education class but didn’t — including pleasure.
Many of us had health class or sex education class in high school. Besides the gym teacher being too embarrassed to teach us anything or the fact that no one was paying attention and used this class as a period to sleep, many of us learned very little with regards to sex education. If you were lucky enough to have sex education and pay attention, you might have been taught about abstinence, birth control, and/or sexually transmitted diseases.
What you did NOT learn about was about P L E A S U R E.
Why Pleasure Is An Important Part of Sex Education?
Pleasure is a very important part of teaching sex education, which often gets overlooked. Pleasure is just as important as birth control, STIs, and consent and should be part of a sex education class.
No matter your gender and what type of relationship you are in — single or with a significant other — pleasure is an important piece of sex education for everyone. After all, everyone deserves pleasure and should learn about it.
Who Should Learn About Pleasure?
Whether you have a penis or clitoris, it’s important to learn and understand how everyone experiences pleasure. It’s not only good to know how you and your body react to pleasure but also how your partner wants pleasure.
Here are 14 things that many people have never learned in sex education class that they should have:
1 – The clitoris has legs.
The clitoris is shaped like a wishbone. Most people know about the “button” or “pearl” at the top of the vulva, but they don’t know that the clitoris has legs, which can extend down to the anus.
2 – Anal play and penetration can be pleasurable for everyone.
Since the legs of the clitoris can extend down to the anus, women can also orgasm from anal play or penetration. Also, a thin membrane is all that separates the vaginal cavity from the rectal cavity. Therefore, direct stimulation of the clitoris during anal play helps some women achieve orgasm.
3 – The G-spot exists for most people.
Although each body is different, most people have a G-spot. When aroused, it is the size of a walnut 2-4 inches on your vaginal wall somewhere near your belly button. Also, when the G-spot is aroused, it feels bumpy similar to the roof of your mouth. Many people need lots of arousal, time and pressure for G-spot stimulation.
4 – Lube makes sex better.
Most of the time, our bodies produce enough natural lubricant to be comfortable every day. However, if you are having sex or using toys, you may need more than what nature provides, especially if you are experiencing hormonal changes or menopause, on medications, experiencing stress or lack of sleep.
It’s ok to use personal lubricant. Lube makes sexual play wetter or slicker depending on which lube you prefer and you can never be wet enough. As we like to say:
Wetter is ALWAYS better!
5 – There is nothing wrong with sex toys!
Sex toys add pleasure, fun, and playfulness to your sex life and relationship. They let you explore what feels good, mix things up and experiment with new types of sensation. They help you figure out what feels good and brings you to orgasm — all good things to know for yourself and to share with a partner!
6 – Pleasure is G O O D!!
Pleasure is a birthright and everyone deserves it — no matter your gender or sexuality. There are many parts of the body where you can receive pleasure: the penis, clitoris, breasts and nipples, anus and anywhere else you can think of!
Did you know that the only job of the clitoris is to give pleasure? Also, the clitoris has more nerve endings (about 8000) compared to the penis (about 6000)?
Research has shown that orgasms help you lead happier and healthier lives.
7 – Your brain is your largest sexual organ.
Your brain controls your positive and negative thoughts which can affect how much pleasure you give and receive. Once your brain is “on board”, you are ready to give and accept pleasure.
8 – About 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
Therefore, most women do not orgasm through penetration with a penis in their vagina.
9 – Being kinky is not bad.
People who are into kink or BDSM are not weird or “those types of people”. They are just like you: fireman, school teachers, doctors, etc. However, the major difference is that they enjoy experiences that give them pleasure, which is different from what you prefer. Kink or BDSM is a perfectly acceptable way to experience pleasure so long as it’s safe and consensual. It just might not be for you.
10 – If you don’t feel good about yourself, you can’t enjoy pleasure.
Feeling good in your body is important to experiencing pleasure. If you don’t love yourself and your body, it’s really hard for you to open up and let someone else love you (or even see you naked!).
11 – Understand what makes you feel good.
If you don’t know your body (YES – look at yourself in the mirror “down there”!) and understand what feels good to you, you can not communicate that to your partner.
Learn how to masturbate. there is no right way or wrong way. What feels good for you might not feel as good for someone else.
12 – Sex isn’t just penis-vagina penetration.
Sex is whatever makes you feel good. It could be kissing, touching, licking, oral sex, anal sex, fingering or anything else that you can dream of.
13 – Just because you like anal penetration, does not mean you are a homosexual or gay.
What makes you a homosexual is the partner you are with — NOT the act of sexual play and pleasure you enjoy.
14 – If you have a penis, massaging your prostate can produce the best and strongest orgasms.
Prostate play not only gives you the BEST orgasms but it also makes you healthier. Massaging the prostate helps to reduce the size of the prostate by releasing the toxins inside the prostate. You might not ejaculate from a prostate massage, but you will still orgasm. Many use prostate massagers for prostate play.
Is there anything else you wish you had learned in sex ed class?