13 Things All Sex Educators Want You To Know

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13-things-all-sex-educators-want-you-to-knowThere’s a lot of misconceptions about sex educators. Learn 13 things that all sex educators want you to know.

Sex educators are a misunderstood group of health professionals and educators. We are passionate about teaching people — no matter what gender or sexuality — about sexual health and wellness.

Sadly, not only do people not understand what we actually do, sex educators are not respected by their health professional peers and the general public.

We are just like any other professional. Just like an English teacher is passionate about literature, a sex educator is passionate about sexual health and wellness.

Being a sex educator can be somewhat difficult. Many sex educators have experienced shame for being a sex educator and experience a lack of respect only because the subject matter that we deal with is uncomfortable or taboo for many.

In order to bring more awareness to what we do, here are things we wish people knew about sex educators:

1. What Is A Sex Educator?

Sex educators teach people about sexual health and wellness. That can include disease prevention and safe sex, sexual assault, consent, and pleasure-based education.

Sex educators can be any gender and any sexuality. We are professionals, who provide a safe space for you to be yourself and ask questions.

Sex educators don’t pass judgement. The goal is to listen and help you.

We help you feel comfortable with your sexuality and help you feel comfortable in your body.

Our number one goal is to teach people how to have more pleasure so that they can lead happier and healthier lives. Unlike sex therapists and sexologists, we do not participate in therapy or treat sexual dysfunctions and disorders. However, we would recommend products that might help.

2. Are Sex Educators Direct Sales Sex Toy Consultants?


Sex educators are trained in all aspects of teaching people about sex — not just selling sex toys and pressuring you to buy. We are not in this profession because it’s fun or because we are the friend that everyone talks to about sex or we want to earn extra money on the side.

We are sex educators because we are passionate about helping people feel good about their sexuality and experience the pleasure they deserve. We want people to have all the information so they can make proper decisions about their sexual health and wellness.

3. Do Sex Educators Show You How To Have Sex?


Although we teach you about your body and provide accurate sex education, we do not sit with someone and help them learn how to have an orgasm while they masturbate. That being said, some sex educators do hands-on or somatic work in addition to their sex education teaching.

4. What’s The Best Part Of Being A Sex Educator?

Helping people find the pleasure they deserve as well as teaching customers something new that they have never learned before, whether it’s about their body or just that they are normal!

5. What’s The Worst Part Of Being A Sex Educator?

Breaking down barriers and misconceptions that every adult can use sex education. Similar to how you have to learn how to drive a car, play the piano or make an omelet, you also need to learn how to have better sex and experience more pleasure.

Also, we are constantly fighting the myth about that sexual health and wellness products are just for “those people.” These products are for anyone who wants to lead a happier and healthier life. 

6. What Is The Weirdest Thing That Has Happened To A Sex Educator On The Job? 

As sex educators, we don’t think of sex things as “weird” – just more or less common. Each sex educator has a different story they can tell you about questions that took them off guard or when clients misunderstood their role.

7. What Are Some Of The Biggest Sexual Health Myths?

Many people think that needing personal lubricant makes them less than, or they’re concerned that their partner will feel inadequate if they need lube for sex. Yet another sexual health myth is that a person’s wetness depends on her level of arousal or that “I am already wet enough.”

All of these are NOT true!

Lube makes sex better. PERIOD. It’s wetter and slicker and you feel more sensation. Also, those who are naturally wet can reach orgasm faster with lube. Bonus: using lube reduces the risk of condom failure.

Sometimes, one does not produce enough lubrication on their own. That’s OK. can be less wet due to a variety of reasons. Those include where you are in your cycle, menopause, pregnancy, stress, medication, lack of sleep, etc.

Read more about how to choose lube here.

8. What Do Sex Educators Wish Everyone Knew About Being A Sex Educator? 

We teach sexual health and wellness and sell body-safe adult products because we are passionate about healthy pleasure. We don’t do this for the money, the glory or because sex is all we think about. We just want people to feel comfortable with their sexuality and understand their bodies.

Sex Toy Shopping

Not only are Sex Educators experts in sexual health and wellness, the Sex Educators at My Secret Soiree are also experts in sexual health and wellness products. By listening to your needs (rather than pushing whatever product they got a good deal on or has the most profit for them), they help you find the right product for you.

So, when it comes to products and sex toy shopping, here what Sex Educators want you to know:

1. What Is The Biggest Sex Toy Shopping Myth?

Just because a customer buys a product, it doesn’t mean that they will like it. We can only ask so many questions and can only help you to a certain extent. We don’t know how your body reacts, your size, etc.

Either way, it shouldn’t turn someone off from trying something different.

We equate it to this scenario: if you go to a restaurant and have a bad meal, you still have to pay for it. You might be upset that you spent money on a not so great mean and you might not go back to that restaurant, but you will try another restaurant at some point. You can say the same thing about sex toys.

2. When People Buy Sex Toys, What Are Common Mistakes They Make?

Customers tend to buy what their friend likes or what their partner likes rather than what they like or need.

For example, your friend might like external stimulation but you are interested in experimenting, but are too shy/ashamed to buy something else. Or, your partner wants something very big, but you want to start off small and then work your way up.

3. What Do We Wish Everyone Knew About Sex Toys?

We wish customers knew that organic, all natural products and high quality products can be used in the bedroom. They don’t have to buy cheap low quality products that are toxic and made with harmful ingredients and chemicals.

If you would not eat it or put it in your mouth, why would you then put it in your body? 

There are higher quality products out there that are not harmful. Healthy pleasure does exist. 

4. What Do We Wish Everyone Knew About Sex Toy Shopping?

They should not feel judged or feel pressured to buy. The shopping experience should be a safe environment for the customer to learn and ask questions.

5. What Do We Wish All Customers Would Stop Doing?

We wish that customers would stop asking, “Which toy is your favorite?”.

Everyone is different and likes different things. Just because we love a toy, doesn’t mean that the customer will love it too.

With the right questions, we help the customers find the right products that work for them — not what benefits us.

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