Concierge Corner: Meet the Sexpert
In a new series, Concierge Corner: Meet the Sexpert, My Secret Soiree will introduce you all of our fabulous team members!
Meet DeAnn Cope, Southwest Region Director
– Why are sex toys important?
I actually prefer to call them sex utensils because they are THAT important. They’re part of the expression of your sexuality. Sex utensils aren’t just vibrators. There are harnesses that allow disabled veterans to be with their wives again. There are positioning aids that allow those with pain or pregnancy to enjoy intimacy. There are utensils that allow people to explore BDSM safely. Let’s not forget the importance of foreplay and arousal, especially for women. They’re part of expanding your sexual expression and experiencing pleasure in a way that works for you and your relationship, which changes over time.
– Why did you get into this industry?
I went to a sex toy party at a friend’s house, with a different company. I knew more than the sales rep. When she was finished and went to set up to take orders, everyone looked at me and asked to explain things and what they should get. I saw her walk out with what should have been my money, so I knew this was for me.
– Why did you choose to work with My Secret Soiree?
I had started to educate myself on the products I was selling. I started to question the ingredients of the toys and lubes. I didn’t buy a lot of things from my own company – most of what I wanted was sold elsewhere. I wanted to offer worry-free pleasure. I wanted to make a change in the industry. I also wanted to do more with my career – writing, coaching, and speaking. I knew other experts in the field would question the product line I offered. I kept looking for something better. I researched every new company that came out and finally discovered MSS. I reached out to be notified when the national launch would happen. The rest is history!
– What was sex ed like for you when growing up? What do you wish they had taught in school?
I am pretty self-taught. I used to sneak into my grandma’s bookshelf and read The Complete Life Cycle books from the 60’s or 70’s and one of them talked about reproduction. In school, I was in the gifted & talented science classes so I actually got to learn about contraception. They just told us NOT to do it, that STD’s could kill us or make us sterile, that oral sex gives you herpes, and anal sex gives you AIDS. And everyone pretended girls don’t masturbate.
– What is your favorite toy/product?
Well, if I can be candid, there are different tools for different jobs. For clitoral orgasms, I like the JimmyJane Form 2. The Lelo Ina 2 is my favorite rabbit. Lelo Luna Beads are my favorite for Kegels. I haven’t had vaginal sex without a We-Vibe since 2011. The Liberator Wedge was heaven for my back after a car accident a few years ago. If I’m feeling dominant I reach for the Tantus Plunge paddle, which also makes a great dildo. If I’m feeling submissive, the Lelo Sensua Whip gently caressing my skin while blindfolded & restrained with the Sex & Mischief Bed Bondage Restraint Kit is unbelievably hot. You also need a lube for each job. Uberlube is a fantastic silicone lube for not just sex and male chastity devices, but also taming flyaways in your hair. I like an aloe vera anal lube for back door play or pegging, and Sliquid Organics for insertable toys & vaginal play. I’d say we own over 100 different utensils & accessories, and there’s more on our wish list!
– Best piece of advice when shopping for sex toys.
Think about what you want the product to do, the different types of sensation you like, and get different products that specialize in those things. Go for non-porous materials for insertable toys, because they can be sterilized with a 10% bleach solution, so if you upgrade later you can gift it to someone else. And don’t forget lube – that can make all the difference! Finally, be sure to be honest with yourself and your Concierge, so we can recommend the right products for you. If you’ve ever thought “I wish they made X,” just ask! It might exist!
– What is a secret luxury you dream of indulging in or allow yourself occasionally – exotic travel, a decadent food…?
A shower so long the hot water runs out!
– What is (are) your primary love language(s) (physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, or acts of service)?
Acts of service speaks to me the most, followed closely behind by words of affirmation.
– What makes you feel sexy?
My husband has a way of making me feel like I’m the only other person in the world.
– How do you relax?
I experience ASMR, autonomous sensory meridian response, so I sometimes watch a lot of videos of people softly talking about random objects or cooking miniature food. The Bob Ross YouTube channel recently started carrying full episodes. Now I realize why I was such a fan as a kid. It sounds weird, but it’s really relaxing and makes the back of my head & neck tingle.
– What is your favorite romantic song and movie?
I’m a sucker for sad songs. “Beloved” by VNV Nation is about someone whose sweetheart has died and their love was so enduring it’s timeless. I pretty much cry every time, because I think that’s what I’ve been able to cultivate in my marriage. My favorite romantic movie “Ever After” starring Drew Barrymore. It’s an underrated Cinderella story.
– Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I originally wanted to go to medical school to be an OB/GYN, but I was a single mom and literally couldn’t afford to take the MCAT. Instead, I got into research and climbed out of poverty, working my way up from the laboratory bench to helping scientists manage over $30 million in annual funding at an Army research institute prior to working in this field. I have a 15-year-old son who’s getting ready to start driving, and I home school my 8-year-old daughter. I am an introvert with anxiety, which sometimes makes this sort of work a challenge, but I’m really passionate about what I do. Doing this work literally saved my marriage.
If you are in the Austin, Houston or San Antonio, Texas area and would like more information about hosting an upscale sex toy party or bachelorette sex toy party, please contact DeAnn here.